I had an amazing night with Sam last night. He's incredible.
It's funny...a long time ago I had this dream about a house that I was living in. I think it may have been a couple of weeks before I left for Nicaragua. Anyways, the house was big. It was square-shaped and didn't have a middle. The middle was a courtyard area, and the house surrounded it. Except the house was on stilts. It was a beautiful house. And after that, I decided that I wanted to see a house like that one day, not realizing that they actually exist.
Last night, Sam and I were talking about...I don't remember, but we somehow got on the subject of houses built like the one aforementioned. I told him about my dream, and he told me that he thinks those houses are really cool and that he intends to live in one some day.
Last night, after I was home and in bed and all that, I had a dream. In my dream, it was the near future. Sam and I were still together (yay), and we were looking at houses for some reason. I don't know why - we weren't engaged or married or even talking about it (that I know of) in my dream. But we were in Hilton Head and the Crowne Plaza Resort (where we go for GCYC), and we found the house that we wanted, and it was one of those kinds with the courtyard thing!
It was wierd...but it made me feel happy. :)
Anyhow, I'm just trying to kill time until Sam calls me. I'm going to make him tell me to write so I finish my term paper. I'm about a third of the way done. Once I start talking about Emma Goldman, I'll have a lot to say. That woman...it's a good thing she and Gloria Steinman and Betty Friedan weren't sisters. Could you imagine the estrogen wars?
I finished revising al my stories for creative writing (I'm pretty proud of myself), and I finished my newspaper stuff (starting layout Monday), and I need to finish my political science term paper (on feminism/the women's movement) and my sociology paper (about why teens have unprotected sex) and my science project (about JWST and Hubble). I feel so educated.
And why am I going to need to know all these things? ...I'm getting an education, not a training...right...
I'm having an affair with pandora.com. I discovered the baroque period chamber music and the Michael Buble, etc. station. :) It's been on the past twelve hours or so. :)
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Our Sixth Monthiversary (March 20)
Yaaaayy!!!!
We made it six months, and he's still completely amazing and wonderful and I LOVE HIM!
We went to the Olive Garden and ate A LOT of food (and it was yummy :) ).
After dinner (and a great conversation, as usual), we drove around a bit looking for some place to star-gaze, but there aren't many dark places anymore, so we went back to my house and spent a little time with my parents.
Sam gave me a cute letter holder (which has been coming in handy lately - thank you, dear) and a huge candle that has made my whole room smell extremely good.
I gave him an anniversary card ripped in half. He gets the other half if he stays with me another six months. It's a reward system. :)
I felt bad because I didn't know he was going to get me something and I had no money to get him anything... :( I'll make up for it. :)
After we were done hanging out with my parents, I walked him back to his truck and we talked a bit. We also kissed a bit. :)
He's wonderful and I love everything about him. I love that he understands me and respects me and how he shows he loves me...I love that we don't argue and that we have common interests and that we're both commited to excellence (to ourselves and each other).
He's amazing and I'm sure I'm the luckiest girl alive!
We made it six months, and he's still completely amazing and wonderful and I LOVE HIM!
We went to the Olive Garden and ate A LOT of food (and it was yummy :) ).
After dinner (and a great conversation, as usual), we drove around a bit looking for some place to star-gaze, but there aren't many dark places anymore, so we went back to my house and spent a little time with my parents.
Sam gave me a cute letter holder (which has been coming in handy lately - thank you, dear) and a huge candle that has made my whole room smell extremely good.
I gave him an anniversary card ripped in half. He gets the other half if he stays with me another six months. It's a reward system. :)
I felt bad because I didn't know he was going to get me something and I had no money to get him anything... :( I'll make up for it. :)
After we were done hanging out with my parents, I walked him back to his truck and we talked a bit. We also kissed a bit. :)
He's wonderful and I love everything about him. I love that he understands me and respects me and how he shows he loves me...I love that we don't argue and that we have common interests and that we're both commited to excellence (to ourselves and each other).
He's amazing and I'm sure I'm the luckiest girl alive!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Today I Learned
...that t-shirts are more absorbent than gym shorts. I left my towel at home. :(
...that if you're congested, you can just do upright row really fast and the snot comes pouring out.
...to cheat the system of 129 being backed up by traffic, you can just go north on I-985 and use the U-turn a bit up the road and still make it to school on time to blog. :)
...that my boyfriend is amazing, and I hope he gets better soon so we can spend some time together.
...that half a piece of gum is just as effective as a whole one.
...that I may get to start using less than 30 pounds of assist on chin-ups. It was a bit bouncier today.
...that other people matter, but not that much. Only the ones I hold dear. The others...I've forgotten about.
...that you know you love someone when just seeing him makes your stomach all tingly. I love you, Sam. :)
...that my hope isn't anywhere here on this earth. This will all pass away and I'll find true life, love, hope, and freedom in Christ one day.
...that AP style is fun to break. :)
...that if you're congested, you can just do upright row really fast and the snot comes pouring out.
...to cheat the system of 129 being backed up by traffic, you can just go north on I-985 and use the U-turn a bit up the road and still make it to school on time to blog. :)
...that my boyfriend is amazing, and I hope he gets better soon so we can spend some time together.
...that half a piece of gum is just as effective as a whole one.
...that I may get to start using less than 30 pounds of assist on chin-ups. It was a bit bouncier today.
...that other people matter, but not that much. Only the ones I hold dear. The others...I've forgotten about.
...that you know you love someone when just seeing him makes your stomach all tingly. I love you, Sam. :)
...that my hope isn't anywhere here on this earth. This will all pass away and I'll find true life, love, hope, and freedom in Christ one day.
...that AP style is fun to break. :)
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Letting Go
I've decided.
I'm declaring.
Independence.
I'm not going to worry about the little things.
I'm not going to concern myself with other people's lives, unless they ask me to.
If you talk to me, I will talk to you.
If you don't want me to talk to you, don't respond when I reach out.
And that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you a chance by reaching out.
And if you don't respond, I'm going to put you out of my life.
It's spring cleaning time.
Time to throw out all the old junk from my life.
Here I go.
I'm declaring.
Independence.
I'm not going to worry about the little things.
I'm not going to concern myself with other people's lives, unless they ask me to.
If you talk to me, I will talk to you.
If you don't want me to talk to you, don't respond when I reach out.
And that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you a chance by reaching out.
And if you don't respond, I'm going to put you out of my life.
It's spring cleaning time.
Time to throw out all the old junk from my life.
Here I go.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Letter From Your Ex
Facebook says you're in a relationship.
That's the only way I found out since you don't respond to phone calls or texts anymore.
I look at her pictures and I wonder...what's she like?
Does she know you like I did?
Does she know your tickle spot?
Does she know your insecurities?
Did she put out on the first date?
Does she wear her hair curly how you like it...how mine wouldn't do?
Is she pretty?
Can you tell her mood by the way she talks, holds herself, the color of her eyes?
Do her toes curl when you kiss her?
Do you call her baby already?
Does she respond like I did to that name?
Is she going to share the house on the beach in Florida with you?
Is she going to get the waterfall, the big arched doorway, the library?
Wait...the library was for me. I guess that's erased from the blueprints now.
I told you. A million times.
I told you you'd be better off with someone you went to school with, from your social group.
Turns out I was right.
Why couldn't you have listened to me? Why didn't you realize, I knew? I know.
Guys like you don't date girls like me. You date dainty girls, with dainty names and personalities.
Not that I'm hardcore.
Did you ask her dad's permission to date her?
Your family likes her a lot more than me, don't they?
I bet she's never worn shoes like mine...the skater shoes, the cheap fake converses from WalMart.
I'm happy for you. I'm happy you know that I was right all along.
I wasn't good enough for you. I never was.
This is what you deserve...and I'm glad you found it.
That's the only way I found out since you don't respond to phone calls or texts anymore.
I look at her pictures and I wonder...what's she like?
Does she know you like I did?
Does she know your tickle spot?
Does she know your insecurities?
Did she put out on the first date?
Does she wear her hair curly how you like it...how mine wouldn't do?
Is she pretty?
Can you tell her mood by the way she talks, holds herself, the color of her eyes?
Do her toes curl when you kiss her?
Do you call her baby already?
Does she respond like I did to that name?
Is she going to share the house on the beach in Florida with you?
Is she going to get the waterfall, the big arched doorway, the library?
Wait...the library was for me. I guess that's erased from the blueprints now.
I told you. A million times.
I told you you'd be better off with someone you went to school with, from your social group.
Turns out I was right.
Why couldn't you have listened to me? Why didn't you realize, I knew? I know.
Guys like you don't date girls like me. You date dainty girls, with dainty names and personalities.
Not that I'm hardcore.
Did you ask her dad's permission to date her?
Your family likes her a lot more than me, don't they?
I bet she's never worn shoes like mine...the skater shoes, the cheap fake converses from WalMart.
I'm happy for you. I'm happy you know that I was right all along.
I wasn't good enough for you. I never was.
This is what you deserve...and I'm glad you found it.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Lip Service
You know what really bothers me?
People who claim to be Christians but don't act like it.
I know that we're only human and will never be perfect and all, but we can try.
What I mean is: the ones who say I love Jesus on Sunday when they had to roll out of bed in a drunken stupor to take some Chaser Plus and clean up before church so they can save face. The ones who get pregnant before getting married (or just have sex). The ones who cuss and disrespect others, who don't love, but say that Jesus is the Lord of their lives.
I'm not saying that I've never done those things. It is difficult. But I try to live the best that I can because I am a representative of Jesus. You and I, we may be the only Jesus some people ever see. Are we going to show them a hyprocritical face? Are we going to tell them that although Jesus gave his everything for us, we can just give one or two hours to him on Sunday? That we don't need to worry about praying or reading the Bible or even living like we've had a experience with him?
Like Gandhi said: "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Will you chose to live for him or against him? There is no middle ground. Jesus said: "But because you are lukewarm—neither hot, nor cold—I am ready to spit you out of my mouth." (Revelation 3:16)
Honor God with more than just your mouth. Honor him with your heart and the way you live, if that is what you choose. But if you decide not to live for him, please stop saying that you do.
Peace,
Cait
People who claim to be Christians but don't act like it.
I know that we're only human and will never be perfect and all, but we can try.
What I mean is: the ones who say I love Jesus on Sunday when they had to roll out of bed in a drunken stupor to take some Chaser Plus and clean up before church so they can save face. The ones who get pregnant before getting married (or just have sex). The ones who cuss and disrespect others, who don't love, but say that Jesus is the Lord of their lives.
I'm not saying that I've never done those things. It is difficult. But I try to live the best that I can because I am a representative of Jesus. You and I, we may be the only Jesus some people ever see. Are we going to show them a hyprocritical face? Are we going to tell them that although Jesus gave his everything for us, we can just give one or two hours to him on Sunday? That we don't need to worry about praying or reading the Bible or even living like we've had a experience with him?
Like Gandhi said: "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Will you chose to live for him or against him? There is no middle ground. Jesus said: "But because you are lukewarm—neither hot, nor cold—I am ready to spit you out of my mouth." (Revelation 3:16)
Honor God with more than just your mouth. Honor him with your heart and the way you live, if that is what you choose. But if you decide not to live for him, please stop saying that you do.
Peace,
Cait
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