More worthy

From my seat at my desk in my bedroom, I can see out my window. The front yard is in front of me, and I can see the roof over the deck. A few minutes ago, I looked out (taking a short mental break from my political science take-home final) and saw something splashing in the gutter.

I looked a bit closer to see that it was a little robin. He sat very still for a second, then put his head back under and splashed, moving his feathers around quickly. Then he hopped out, onto the ledge and shook his feathers out. He poofed himself up very impressively, then cleaned himself with his beak. He got the feathers on his wings, his tail feathers, and what parts of his chest he was able to reach.

Sitting here, watching him, I felt peaceful.

You're worth more, my dear.

In the Bible, Jesus says not to worry about tomorrow, because today has enough trouble of its own. "Look at the sparrows," he said. "You can buy two for a penny, and your Father in Heaven knows when one sparrow falls from its nest. How much more must he pay attention to you? He knows the number of hairs on your head. He knows when you wake, sleep, shed a tear." In Psalms, David writes that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. "I praise you," he wrote. "Before a thought enters my head, you aready had it written down. You keep my tears in a bottle. You knit me together in my mother's womb."

Today, even though it's icky outside from the drizzle, I'm going to thank God for the simple beautiful things he's made. I'm going to thank him for my life and the chance to live it.

I encourage you to do the same. A step towards thankfullness to God is a step closer to him.

Scooter-licious

I want a scooter. I really do.

But more than that, I want the guys on Top Gear to test them so I'll know what ones to look at.

That would be a fun episode.

But seriously ... they get incredible gas mileage. They're fun. They're cheap. They're good for the environment and my pocket.

Sam brought up the weather issue. Yeah, it would suck to drive through the rain and cold and whatnot. But still ... they get about three times the miles per gallon my Sadie gets me (I named my car Sadie).

I'm researching now. I think I belong in Europe. Or California. As in, not Georgia. I'm starting to get a southern drawl and it's bugging me. Yeah, it can be cute on certain people, but I don't think I'm one of those people.

In other news ...

Sam is leaving Wednesday for Trials. He won't be here for our 7th monthiversary or the slalom. And he was going to get to bring his mom's crossfire. That sucks. :( I hope he does well, though. I would have mad ehim go regardless. It's important.

My alarm clock doesn't wake me up anymore. I've missed working out the past week because it somehow doesn't get me up in time. For example, I woke up an hour late this morning. I didn't wake up in time Sunday. I don't remember last week, but I know I didn't work out. :(

I'm definently going tomorrow moring. Which is another reason I could use a scooter. I drive more than my parents. A lot more. As in, I'm filling up about every four or five days. At least $20. And I'm trying to pay for college (they seem to be unsympathetic to my bank account) and gas. I paid for my boat. What I didn't get in scholarships, I'm paying for for the China trip. I buy my own clothes and shoes and hair stuff. I guess I should count my blessings and thank God they're paying for my food!

It's kind of annoying ... but just makes me all the more eager to leave for China and apply to other schools.

Patience is a virtue, right?

It's wearing thin.


Peace,

Cait

36 days until I leave

I mis-counted. I thought I only had 31 days until I left, but I just re-counted and found out I forgot to count Sundays and I have 36 days. :)

I'm really excited about it...but I'm also extremely nervous. What if I get sick? What if I get lost? What if no one likes me? What if I get really homesick like I did in Nicaragua?

I'm sure that by writing it out, I'll get less nervous. I just have to calm myself and realize that we'll be in developed places where it's not likely that I'll get sick, I'll have my laptop so I can reach home and stay connected, and I'll probably be too busy to think about home as much as I did in Nicaragua.

One of the things that stinks about the timing of the trip is that I'll miss my and Sam's 8th monthiversary. He's missing our 7th. He'll be in Oklahoma at Trials. I'll be racing my car and going to a music recital. Which is really cool, but not as cool as it would be with him.

Me: I'm not random, my mind just moves faster than yours.
Sam: Wait...what?
Me: My mind was moving faster than yours just then.
Sam: No...I'm pretty random too.
Me: You? Random?
Sam: I'm methodically random.

One of the many reasons I love him. Give me a second while I restart my heart...

Procrastination

I had an amazing night with Sam last night. He's incredible.

It's funny...a long time ago I had this dream about a house that I was living in. I think it may have been a couple of weeks before I left for Nicaragua. Anyways, the house was big. It was square-shaped and didn't have a middle. The middle was a courtyard area, and the house surrounded it. Except the house was on stilts. It was a beautiful house. And after that, I decided that I wanted to see a house like that one day, not realizing that they actually exist.

Last night, Sam and I were talking about...I don't remember, but we somehow got on the subject of houses built like the one aforementioned. I told him about my dream, and he told me that he thinks those houses are really cool and that he intends to live in one some day.

Last night, after I was home and in bed and all that, I had a dream. In my dream, it was the near future. Sam and I were still together (yay), and we were looking at houses for some reason. I don't know why - we weren't engaged or married or even talking about it (that I know of) in my dream. But we were in Hilton Head and the Crowne Plaza Resort (where we go for GCYC), and we found the house that we wanted, and it was one of those kinds with the courtyard thing!

It was wierd...but it made me feel happy. :)

Anyhow, I'm just trying to kill time until Sam calls me. I'm going to make him tell me to write so I finish my term paper. I'm about a third of the way done. Once I start talking about Emma Goldman, I'll have a lot to say. That woman...it's a good thing she and Gloria Steinman and Betty Friedan weren't sisters. Could you imagine the estrogen wars?

I finished revising al my stories for creative writing (I'm pretty proud of myself), and I finished my newspaper stuff (starting layout Monday), and I need to finish my political science term paper (on feminism/the women's movement) and my sociology paper (about why teens have unprotected sex) and my science project (about JWST and Hubble). I feel so educated.

And why am I going to need to know all these things? ...I'm getting an education, not a training...right...

I'm having an affair with pandora.com. I discovered the baroque period chamber music and the Michael Buble, etc. station. :) It's been on the past twelve hours or so. :)

Our Sixth Monthiversary (March 20)

Yaaaayy!!!!

We made it six months, and he's still completely amazing and wonderful and I LOVE HIM!

We went to the Olive Garden and ate A LOT of food (and it was yummy :) ).

After dinner (and a great conversation, as usual), we drove around a bit looking for some place to star-gaze, but there aren't many dark places anymore, so we went back to my house and spent a little time with my parents.

Sam gave me a cute letter holder (which has been coming in handy lately - thank you, dear) and a huge candle that has made my whole room smell extremely good.

I gave him an anniversary card ripped in half. He gets the other half if he stays with me another six months. It's a reward system. :)

I felt bad because I didn't know he was going to get me something and I had no money to get him anything... :( I'll make up for it. :)

After we were done hanging out with my parents, I walked him back to his truck and we talked a bit. We also kissed a bit. :)

He's wonderful and I love everything about him. I love that he understands me and respects me and how he shows he loves me...I love that we don't argue and that we have common interests and that we're both commited to excellence (to ourselves and each other).

He's amazing and I'm sure I'm the luckiest girl alive!

Today I Learned

...that t-shirts are more absorbent than gym shorts. I left my towel at home. :(

...that if you're congested, you can just do upright row really fast and the snot comes pouring out.

...to cheat the system of 129 being backed up by traffic, you can just go north on I-985 and use the U-turn a bit up the road and still make it to school on time to blog. :)

...that my boyfriend is amazing, and I hope he gets better soon so we can spend some time together.

...that half a piece of gum is just as effective as a whole one.

...that I may get to start using less than 30 pounds of assist on chin-ups. It was a bit bouncier today.

...that other people matter, but not that much. Only the ones I hold dear. The others...I've forgotten about.

...that you know you love someone when just seeing him makes your stomach all tingly. I love you, Sam. :)

...that my hope isn't anywhere here on this earth. This will all pass away and I'll find true life, love, hope, and freedom in Christ one day.

...that AP style is fun to break. :)

Letting Go

I've decided.
I'm declaring.
Independence.

I'm not going to worry about the little things.
I'm not going to concern myself with other people's lives, unless they ask me to.
If you talk to me, I will talk to you.
If you don't want me to talk to you, don't respond when I reach out.
And that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you a chance by reaching out.
And if you don't respond, I'm going to put you out of my life.

It's spring cleaning time.
Time to throw out all the old junk from my life.

Here I go.