More worthy

From my seat at my desk in my bedroom, I can see out my window. The front yard is in front of me, and I can see the roof over the deck. A few minutes ago, I looked out (taking a short mental break from my political science take-home final) and saw something splashing in the gutter.

I looked a bit closer to see that it was a little robin. He sat very still for a second, then put his head back under and splashed, moving his feathers around quickly. Then he hopped out, onto the ledge and shook his feathers out. He poofed himself up very impressively, then cleaned himself with his beak. He got the feathers on his wings, his tail feathers, and what parts of his chest he was able to reach.

Sitting here, watching him, I felt peaceful.

You're worth more, my dear.

In the Bible, Jesus says not to worry about tomorrow, because today has enough trouble of its own. "Look at the sparrows," he said. "You can buy two for a penny, and your Father in Heaven knows when one sparrow falls from its nest. How much more must he pay attention to you? He knows the number of hairs on your head. He knows when you wake, sleep, shed a tear." In Psalms, David writes that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. "I praise you," he wrote. "Before a thought enters my head, you aready had it written down. You keep my tears in a bottle. You knit me together in my mother's womb."

Today, even though it's icky outside from the drizzle, I'm going to thank God for the simple beautiful things he's made. I'm going to thank him for my life and the chance to live it.

I encourage you to do the same. A step towards thankfullness to God is a step closer to him.

Scooter-licious

I want a scooter. I really do.

But more than that, I want the guys on Top Gear to test them so I'll know what ones to look at.

That would be a fun episode.

But seriously ... they get incredible gas mileage. They're fun. They're cheap. They're good for the environment and my pocket.

Sam brought up the weather issue. Yeah, it would suck to drive through the rain and cold and whatnot. But still ... they get about three times the miles per gallon my Sadie gets me (I named my car Sadie).

I'm researching now. I think I belong in Europe. Or California. As in, not Georgia. I'm starting to get a southern drawl and it's bugging me. Yeah, it can be cute on certain people, but I don't think I'm one of those people.

In other news ...

Sam is leaving Wednesday for Trials. He won't be here for our 7th monthiversary or the slalom. And he was going to get to bring his mom's crossfire. That sucks. :( I hope he does well, though. I would have mad ehim go regardless. It's important.

My alarm clock doesn't wake me up anymore. I've missed working out the past week because it somehow doesn't get me up in time. For example, I woke up an hour late this morning. I didn't wake up in time Sunday. I don't remember last week, but I know I didn't work out. :(

I'm definently going tomorrow moring. Which is another reason I could use a scooter. I drive more than my parents. A lot more. As in, I'm filling up about every four or five days. At least $20. And I'm trying to pay for college (they seem to be unsympathetic to my bank account) and gas. I paid for my boat. What I didn't get in scholarships, I'm paying for for the China trip. I buy my own clothes and shoes and hair stuff. I guess I should count my blessings and thank God they're paying for my food!

It's kind of annoying ... but just makes me all the more eager to leave for China and apply to other schools.

Patience is a virtue, right?

It's wearing thin.


Peace,

Cait

36 days until I leave

I mis-counted. I thought I only had 31 days until I left, but I just re-counted and found out I forgot to count Sundays and I have 36 days. :)

I'm really excited about it...but I'm also extremely nervous. What if I get sick? What if I get lost? What if no one likes me? What if I get really homesick like I did in Nicaragua?

I'm sure that by writing it out, I'll get less nervous. I just have to calm myself and realize that we'll be in developed places where it's not likely that I'll get sick, I'll have my laptop so I can reach home and stay connected, and I'll probably be too busy to think about home as much as I did in Nicaragua.

One of the things that stinks about the timing of the trip is that I'll miss my and Sam's 8th monthiversary. He's missing our 7th. He'll be in Oklahoma at Trials. I'll be racing my car and going to a music recital. Which is really cool, but not as cool as it would be with him.

Me: I'm not random, my mind just moves faster than yours.
Sam: Wait...what?
Me: My mind was moving faster than yours just then.
Sam: No...I'm pretty random too.
Me: You? Random?
Sam: I'm methodically random.

One of the many reasons I love him. Give me a second while I restart my heart...

Procrastination

I had an amazing night with Sam last night. He's incredible.

It's funny...a long time ago I had this dream about a house that I was living in. I think it may have been a couple of weeks before I left for Nicaragua. Anyways, the house was big. It was square-shaped and didn't have a middle. The middle was a courtyard area, and the house surrounded it. Except the house was on stilts. It was a beautiful house. And after that, I decided that I wanted to see a house like that one day, not realizing that they actually exist.

Last night, Sam and I were talking about...I don't remember, but we somehow got on the subject of houses built like the one aforementioned. I told him about my dream, and he told me that he thinks those houses are really cool and that he intends to live in one some day.

Last night, after I was home and in bed and all that, I had a dream. In my dream, it was the near future. Sam and I were still together (yay), and we were looking at houses for some reason. I don't know why - we weren't engaged or married or even talking about it (that I know of) in my dream. But we were in Hilton Head and the Crowne Plaza Resort (where we go for GCYC), and we found the house that we wanted, and it was one of those kinds with the courtyard thing!

It was wierd...but it made me feel happy. :)

Anyhow, I'm just trying to kill time until Sam calls me. I'm going to make him tell me to write so I finish my term paper. I'm about a third of the way done. Once I start talking about Emma Goldman, I'll have a lot to say. That woman...it's a good thing she and Gloria Steinman and Betty Friedan weren't sisters. Could you imagine the estrogen wars?

I finished revising al my stories for creative writing (I'm pretty proud of myself), and I finished my newspaper stuff (starting layout Monday), and I need to finish my political science term paper (on feminism/the women's movement) and my sociology paper (about why teens have unprotected sex) and my science project (about JWST and Hubble). I feel so educated.

And why am I going to need to know all these things? ...I'm getting an education, not a training...right...

I'm having an affair with pandora.com. I discovered the baroque period chamber music and the Michael Buble, etc. station. :) It's been on the past twelve hours or so. :)

Our Sixth Monthiversary (March 20)

Yaaaayy!!!!

We made it six months, and he's still completely amazing and wonderful and I LOVE HIM!

We went to the Olive Garden and ate A LOT of food (and it was yummy :) ).

After dinner (and a great conversation, as usual), we drove around a bit looking for some place to star-gaze, but there aren't many dark places anymore, so we went back to my house and spent a little time with my parents.

Sam gave me a cute letter holder (which has been coming in handy lately - thank you, dear) and a huge candle that has made my whole room smell extremely good.

I gave him an anniversary card ripped in half. He gets the other half if he stays with me another six months. It's a reward system. :)

I felt bad because I didn't know he was going to get me something and I had no money to get him anything... :( I'll make up for it. :)

After we were done hanging out with my parents, I walked him back to his truck and we talked a bit. We also kissed a bit. :)

He's wonderful and I love everything about him. I love that he understands me and respects me and how he shows he loves me...I love that we don't argue and that we have common interests and that we're both commited to excellence (to ourselves and each other).

He's amazing and I'm sure I'm the luckiest girl alive!

Today I Learned

...that t-shirts are more absorbent than gym shorts. I left my towel at home. :(

...that if you're congested, you can just do upright row really fast and the snot comes pouring out.

...to cheat the system of 129 being backed up by traffic, you can just go north on I-985 and use the U-turn a bit up the road and still make it to school on time to blog. :)

...that my boyfriend is amazing, and I hope he gets better soon so we can spend some time together.

...that half a piece of gum is just as effective as a whole one.

...that I may get to start using less than 30 pounds of assist on chin-ups. It was a bit bouncier today.

...that other people matter, but not that much. Only the ones I hold dear. The others...I've forgotten about.

...that you know you love someone when just seeing him makes your stomach all tingly. I love you, Sam. :)

...that my hope isn't anywhere here on this earth. This will all pass away and I'll find true life, love, hope, and freedom in Christ one day.

...that AP style is fun to break. :)

Letting Go

I've decided.
I'm declaring.
Independence.

I'm not going to worry about the little things.
I'm not going to concern myself with other people's lives, unless they ask me to.
If you talk to me, I will talk to you.
If you don't want me to talk to you, don't respond when I reach out.
And that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you a chance by reaching out.
And if you don't respond, I'm going to put you out of my life.

It's spring cleaning time.
Time to throw out all the old junk from my life.

Here I go.

Letter From Your Ex

Facebook says you're in a relationship.
That's the only way I found out since you don't respond to phone calls or texts anymore.
I look at her pictures and I wonder...what's she like?

Does she know you like I did?
Does she know your tickle spot?
Does she know your insecurities?
Did she put out on the first date?
Does she wear her hair curly how you like it...how mine wouldn't do?
Is she pretty?
Can you tell her mood by the way she talks, holds herself, the color of her eyes?
Do her toes curl when you kiss her?
Do you call her baby already?
Does she respond like I did to that name?
Is she going to share the house on the beach in Florida with you?
Is she going to get the waterfall, the big arched doorway, the library?
Wait...the library was for me. I guess that's erased from the blueprints now.

I told you. A million times.
I told you you'd be better off with someone you went to school with, from your social group.
Turns out I was right.
Why couldn't you have listened to me? Why didn't you realize, I knew? I know.
Guys like you don't date girls like me. You date dainty girls, with dainty names and personalities.
Not that I'm hardcore.

Did you ask her dad's permission to date her?
Your family likes her a lot more than me, don't they?
I bet she's never worn shoes like mine...the skater shoes, the cheap fake converses from WalMart.

I'm happy for you. I'm happy you know that I was right all along.
I wasn't good enough for you. I never was.
This is what you deserve...and I'm glad you found it.

Lip Service

You know what really bothers me?

People who claim to be Christians but don't act like it.

I know that we're only human and will never be perfect and all, but we can try.

What I mean is: the ones who say I love Jesus on Sunday when they had to roll out of bed in a drunken stupor to take some Chaser Plus and clean up before church so they can save face. The ones who get pregnant before getting married (or just have sex). The ones who cuss and disrespect others, who don't love, but say that Jesus is the Lord of their lives.

I'm not saying that I've never done those things. It is difficult. But I try to live the best that I can because I am a representative of Jesus. You and I, we may be the only Jesus some people ever see. Are we going to show them a hyprocritical face? Are we going to tell them that although Jesus gave his everything for us, we can just give one or two hours to him on Sunday? That we don't need to worry about praying or reading the Bible or even living like we've had a experience with him?

Like Gandhi said: "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

Will you chose to live for him or against him? There is no middle ground. Jesus said: "But because you are lukewarm—neither hot, nor cold—I am ready to spit you out of my mouth." (Revelation 3:16)

Honor God with more than just your mouth. Honor him with your heart and the way you live, if that is what you choose. But if you decide not to live for him, please stop saying that you do.

Peace,
Cait

Weapons on Campus

“A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.”

After incidents like what happened at Virginia Tech and Columbine, the issue of gun control gets addressed again. Who should be allowed to carry guns? What regulations or restrictions should there be on gun ownership? Should guns be outlawed all together?
As stated in the Second Amendment to our Constitution, “the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”
Now come the arguments. Who are “the people?” What does “bear arms” mean? Does “the people” refer to the “well regulated militia?” Should our states still have “a well regulated militia?”
All these details make arguing so difficult and keep many picky and persnickety people from seeing the truth. Self-defense is protected by law. The Constitution says the people have the right to keep and bear arms. And that right “shall not be infringed.”
Why, then, is there still an argument?
If one or two students at Virginia Tech could have had concealed weapons, or if a classroom could have had a gun stashed under the teacher’s podium, the massacre may have only been a one- or two-fatality incident, rather than a shooting spree that ended in suicide.
I do realize that there are harms with agreeing that people are protected by law “to keep and bear arms.” There are some crazy individuals out there who, given the right to carry a gun, would endanger society.
However, with substantial background checks and training, gun ownership could be easily regulated.
Many people I’ve talked to – both students and parents – agree that in order to get a weapon, there should be an age restriction and the person should go through training (just like police officers who carry guns). The training would include safety classes, learning how to use a gun and getting a license, which should have to be renewed every few years.
Unlike drivers’ licenses, though, you’d have to be re-tested every time you go for a renewal.
I would personally feel much safer if I knew that I had a professor or a classmate (who wasn’t crazy) who carried a concealed weapon. Or if I could carry a concealed weapon. Not that Gainesville is a dangerous campus or that I’m paranoid…but you never know.
Just last year, there was a huge police chase going on in Flowery Branch, right near the high school. I was in class at the high school at the time of the chase. No one knew about it. What would have happened if one of the suspects had run into the school?
I might not be sitting here writing this column.
I realize that there are those who don’t want guns. That is completely respectable. And it hasn’t escaped me that certain people do not need to have a gun.
And that’s the reason we’d need extensive background checks before issuing a license to carry a gun and selling one. It’s also the reason for requiring a lot of training.
A law was passed in Kennesaw in 1982 that required the head of each household to own a gun. Before the law was passed, the rate of burglaries per 1,000 people was 11. In 1998, the rate was 243 crimes per 100,000 people, or .243 per 1,000. Compare that to Decatur, which as a crime rate of 4,049 per 100,000 people. (Source: rense.com)
It’s pretty obvious to me that guns lower crime rates. Potential criminals think twice about shooting someone who owns a gun.
When is it, on shows like Cops and Law and Order, that a bad guy wielding a gun stands down, or is more open to negotiations?
When someone stands up to him with a gun. Having a gun puts you on the same level as a potential killer. Suddenly, he doesn’t feel so powerful or invincible. Mere talk doesn’t do that. Neither would mace, knives, or batons. In order to get close enough to use it on a gun slinger, he’d see or hear you, and you’d be shot before you could even say “gun control.”
I highly doubt we’d regress back to the old west days, with men running around in cowboy boots and wearing chains of bullets draped across their chests. Regular arguments could still be handled in a civilized manner involving a few drinks and a heart-to-heart.
Guns are like condoms: there for protection. People always tell you to make sure you have protection before engaging in risky behavior. Walking through Atlanta can be risky behavior. Pissing off the wrong person can be risky behavior. Are the Supreme Court and some misguided lobbyists going to prevent “the people” from their Constitutional rights? Can they tell us what to do and what we’re allowed to carry to make ourselves feel more secure?
I don’t think so. I’m an individual, and I want my Constitutional rights upheld. If I want to carry a concealed weapon, there should be no one stopping me. (Except, of course, if I failed training or something.)
If my history professor would feel more secure carrying a concealed gun in his briefcase, more power to him. He’d be doing it to protect himself and his students. (Perhaps his Constitutional right to “Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness?”)
Guns aren’t bad, except in the wrong hands. They need to be in the right hands to prevent the wrong hands from committing serious mistakes.
Bear in mind that guns don’t kill – people with guns have the potential to kill.